chang lin is an oc character based on a vague idea of wang yibo's
role in his unreleased movie, unexpected love, filmed in 2016.all the information about the character is fictional and made up by the admin. it is by no means canon movie chang lin.more information about the chang lin here

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since he was little, chang lin has always been fascinated with dancing. despite his parents' initial objection, at the age of 13 he moved to seoul, korea after being scouted by an entertainment company to become an idol trainee. he eventually gained his parents' support, who simply worried about their young son.he came back to china at the age of 22 and continued training under the local branch as one of the best and most dedicated trainees in the company, making some unexpected friends on the way. after returning to his homeland he experiened a lot of pain: heartbreak and failed friendships. in the end, though, he found his real (unexpected) love in huali's arms.work wise, after changing labels, he finally debuted as a soloist in late 2021, and is additionally working as a songwriter and manager at his company.you can find out more about his life in his diary

• chang lin's music drabbles
• pretty boy swag

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admin info + logisticschang lin tweets nsfw content (mdni!!) but tl is mostly kept as his social media account, with plots in dms.
he was always into making friends and having fun (with or without benefits) but if it comes to romantic connections for the longest time he was emotionally unavailable after a bad heartbreak.after that, chang lin became, is and will remain singleship, happily married to wang huali(you can find out more about his life in his diary)dm if you're interested in plotting!chang lin's voice and music claim is taiwanese singer marz23admin is 32 ooc.
__strictly no interaction with minors. __
english is admin's second language. admin speaks in //timezone: GMT

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writing

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drabbles

calling grandma
april 2021

It's not very often that Chang Lin gets a chance to finish work early lately. He used to be able to leave earlier on Fridays as he comes in every Saturday, but with debut plans it all backfired and now he stays late on Fridays and comes in on Saturdays anyway. Today, though, he doesn't have any afternoon meetings and he can leave just before three pm, the way he used to months ago. It's ironic, really, how now when he actually wants the time, when he has someone to spend it with, he's even busier than usual.Today though he finally had some time to do a couple of things that were pending. Few days earlier, he found an interesting guitar on craigslist and he managed to not get murdered when checking it out and purchasing it from an online stranger. He's really excited about practising playing over the weekend a little, so he can sing something for Huali.He also finally has time to call his grandma.His relationship with his parents isn't bad, but it's a little complicated at times due to the distance that's been between them for years. His nainai, though, is another story; she's an absolute angel and never once did he feel like there was any distance between them. Somehow, also, she also treats him like an actual adult and trusts him and his choices."Nainai~" he says sweetly, his voice changing as he switches to the dialect. "I miss you, my gorgeous nainai," he starts the conversation, almost purring to get into her good books. She sees right through him, though, and he laughs. "Yes, I know I don't have to flatter you. Your favourite grandson?! Nainai... You only have one grandson," he reminds her, pretending to be offended.He asks about her health, and about his parents. And she tells him about the neighbours, then he tells her little stories about work until he mentions what he did earlier today."I bought a guitar," he admits, a little bit shy. "Mhm, if I'm any good I can bring it home next time and sing for you... A video?! Nainai, do you know how to watch videos..." He laughs, then his eyes widen. "Huaying?" He repeats, surprised at hearing that his childhood friend is still in touch with his grandma, that used to pick them up from school. "I didn't... Oh, that's very nice of her," he smiles. "I'll have to thank Huaying then, for teaching you how to use WeChat... But nainai... If you know how to use WeChat, why do you never message me!"Then he breaks into a wide, foolish, honest grin. "I get to kiss him almost every day now, nainai," he says, his voice turning all dreamy. "He's... He's incredible. He's smart, and beautiful, and genuine and I have no idea why, but for some strange reason, he seems to love me. I can't wait until he moves in and I get to wake up next to him every day..." He says, and then his eyes widen. "Whoops," he laughs, realising he spilt a secret even before his parents get officially introduced to his boyfriend. "Mhm, around June. Don't tell mum and dad yet though, okay? I want them to meet him first, at least through video... We are speaking on Sunday." He asks of her. "11th March, same year as me. Why?... Oh my god," he laughs. Auspicious date. He's pretty sure by Huali's side every day is auspicious for him, but he knows those things matter a lot to his grandma. "Okay, okay. Please let me know. I will make sure he moves in on an auspicious date. I'm sure his family will be happy to know you look after us like this.""Love you too, nainai. Speak to you later."When he picks up the phone again to speak to Huali, his accent still lingers for the first couple of sentences.

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bad day
may 2021

Before Huali pointed it out in his texts, asking Chang Lin if anything happened to make him feel bad, he hadn't even realised that was what was happening. And nothing really happened, nothing big enough at least, to make him feel this way. It was just... A regular day at work, really. Which in his field comes with a fair amount of criticism. Sometimes he doesn't even notice anymore that it affects him this way. On top of being worried about multiple little things and the fact that he thought Huali won't be staying over tonight after the whole weekend and extra days spent together, he might have felt more vulnerable than he realised.It all gets better though when he realises Huali is planning on spending another night over. A part of him knows they should try to be okay spending time apart, but another part of him thinks that they will have a lot of time in the future to be okay with that. He really can't wait until they officially move in together, his life quality really improving when he's with his boyfriend.He's driving through the dark roads of the city, still quite busy with people returning home from working late or dinners. For some reason, he doesn't feel like listening to music, driving in silence, feeling like the only appropriate way to fill that silence and that void is with Huali's voice, his presence.When he finally reaches his boyfriend's place and they get into the car together, he lets Huali kiss him and touch him like he's precious and important, drowning in the soft warmth of his fingers and softness of his lips. He immerses himself in the familiar scent of his own shampoo lingering on Huali's hair, mixed with the cologne his boyfriend uses; the sweet but crisp scent that's so undeniably him. And in the safety of all his senses surrounded by Huali, Chang Lin promises himself he will believe it when his boyfriend tells him that he matters.

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at the bar; tw: jealousy
june 2021

The night is a little bit busier than usual, the bar bustling with live music and guests. There is a small birthday gathering - that probably explains why it's this crowded. Chang Lin has visited enough times to recognise some of the faces by now; there is that kind, older guy that grew up in the neighbourhood that always drinks whiskey, and the cute, little lady that always laughs, but when no one is talking to her, sadness immediately returns into her eyes. And then there is her.She's an artist, Chang Lin thinks. She has her briefcase with her sometimes and he saw drawings poke out once or twice. She looks like an artist too; a bit quirky, nicely dressed. Huali never seems to notice the way she looks at him, but Chang Lin does. He knows this look, and he knows it well because that's how he used to look at Huali himself, before he got blessed with being able to call him his own. It's not the first time, and not the last probably that he watches people look at his boyfriend like this. She's laughing at something he said - it's a bit too loud, not natural enough when she twirls her hair around her finger, her eyes following Huali's every move. It's not the first time, and not the last time, but tonight, for some reason, it makes Chang Lin feel differently than it usually does. He sits at the secluded table he likes, trying to write in the notebook that Huali gave him but he can't find the words and instead he's just observing and feeling increasingly frustrated that Huali is out there, talking to others instead of kissing him. It's getting later, the closing time quickly approaching and guests start leaving but she's still there, sitting by the bar and chatting the handsome bartender up.When Huali disappears into the storage with empty bottles after his shift, Chang Lin, against his own better judgement, follows him and sneaks in right behind. He wraps his arms around Huali's waist as soon as he puts the crate with empty bottles down, turning him towards himself and kissing him without a word. He's trying to be soft, taking his lip between his own, but he also knows they don't have time and the built up frustration quickly takes over, his kiss turning deeper, hotter as he takes Huali's face in his hands."You're mine," he whispers against Huali's lips, his voice low and dark with a little bit of possessiveness that isn't all that common for him. "All mine," he adds, kissing him again, hands roaming over his neck and his hair.Before pulling away, he takes Huali's little bowtie off and peck his lips once more, smile breaking out on his face. Not saying anything more, he leaves the storage room, almost skipping back to the bar happily.Chang Lin makes sure she can see the bowtie he lays proudly on his table when he returns. She might gasp slightly, realising, and he will just raise his eyebrows and smile.He made his point.

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bus ride home
july 2021

It’s just.. one of those slow, hazy evenings out. Chang Lin never thought he would be the guy to enjoy them. He never considered himself a romantic or someone who likes going on dates. Since meeting Huali, though, he realised that, damn, he does. He likes it, and he wants those small cafes and old bars and little, dim restaurants. And it’s not because of the food, really. His boyfriend always looks beautiful, but there is something absolutely stunning about him when he is in places like these. The dreamy atmosphere really brings his beauty out when warm as low lights perform an enchanting dance in his dark eyes, skipping a jeté off those freckles that drive Chang Lin insane. Or when the sun is setting. For all he knows, the sole reason for the existence of the golden hour is to play with the locks of Huali’s hair. He tried to put the in words over and over again but with no luck. He just can’t seem to get it right, but he’s determined to keep trying.They don’t get as many of those evenings out as Chang Lin would like, but that makes the ones they spend together even more magical. Today they went to this Italian place. It’s tiny – Chang Lin counted barely six tables when they were eating – and they waited weeks for their reservation. He wanted to make the most out of the evening, too. The place is famous for its wine selection and homemade limoncello, so he decided to leave his car behind to have a drink together. Parking isn’t easy to find in the old parts of French Concession, either. The dinner was perfect, starting with Huali being his companion, of course, but also the food and the drinks. The drinks were so good, in fact, that honestly, Chang Lin probably had one too many. He tries to stay up as long as possible on days like this, but he works many hours preparing for his debut, and there are days when the alcohol affects him a little bit more than what he’s used to.Tonight is one of these days, it seems.And now here they are – on public transport. They had to take a night bus because, for some reason, there were no taxis to hail in the secluded part of the concession, absolutely opposite to where Huali’s flat it. Chang Lin is leaning into Huali; tipsy, tired and a little bit clingy, cuddling close into his boyfriend with his eyes closed. When Huali’s hands find his head and start playing with his hair, it’s game over, really, and he dozes off in a matter of seconds. It’s probably his favourite sensation –his fingers in his hair and nails on his scalp. It always takes him back to that first night he spent back at Huali’s flat and how intimate and safe it made him feel. If he were ever to identify the moment he fell in love, he thinks that might’ve been it, back then.He’s not sure how long he’s asleep for. It couldn’t be too long; they aren’t travelling many stops anyway. But it’s long enough to make him a bit dazed and confused when he awakens against his boyfriend’s chest. Still a bit dizzy, but warm and shielded in the familiar scent, he clings to Huali more, the same way he would if they were in bed. He hums quietly, pressing his lips to Huali’s neck, and leaves a small, wet trail kissing his way up, then along his sharp jawline until he finally finds his lips. Satisfied, he hums; his lips and tongue playing languidly with Huali’s for a moment, until he’s overtaken by sleepiness again. Chang Lin yawns against Huali’s lips and smiles softly, his eyes still closed. Then he rests again on his shoulder, blissfully unaware of being on a bus, with other late-night travellers smiling at them, turning away awkwardly.

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first morning as fiances
7 nov 2021

It could be just any other day waking up, and as long as he would be waking up next to Huali, it would be perfect. It could be just a Tuesday morning in their apartment. It could be just a Saturday morning at his or Hauli's parents place. It could be.But it isn't.It's not just a normal morning and Chang Lin thinks it won't feel like a normal morning for any of the upcoming ones. Not only are they on their first, proper holiday together, in a sleek hotel room (that simply being in makes Chang Lin want to throw himself at Huali). This is the first morning of his life waking up officially engaged.God.The moment he opens his eyes and remembers that it has actually happened (the weight of a new ring on his fingers leaves no doubt), he almost jolts up with excitement. He manages to control himself and remain calm in bed, unwilling to wake his boy... His fiance up. Fiance. They are officially engaged and even though it maybe shouldn't be a surprise with how many times they have talked about it and how clearly this is where they were heading, somehow, it still feels so brand new and magical. They are engaged. They are engaged and they live together and they are so, so in love with the kind of love Chang Lin never thought could be real. His heart started beating faster just at the sole thought of their future together, swelling in his chest and filling him with warmth and heat of love. He turns to look at Huali and now, looking at his peaceful, sleeping face, the love that Chang Lin has growing in his chest suddenly feels way too big for his body. And this love, it spills out of him through his fingertips as they brush over Huali's sun-dusted cheekbones, and it pours out of his lips when he presses them against Huali's throat, overtaken by this intense urge to feel how soft and how warm, how firm and real and beautiful his fiance is."I love you, fiance," he whispers into his skin, like it's their most precious secret as he hides away into the world for the two of them only, settles in the home he found in the crook of Huali's neck. He wraps one arm under Huali's slim waist, holding him close to his own body, the other hand buried deep into the waves of Hauli's unruly hair. "I adore you," he whispers sweetly, his love overflowing as it pours endlessly in and out of him when he sees his husband to be.The previous morning, he let Huali sleep in, staying quiet in the bed next to him and reading a book. But yesterday, he was just his boyfriend. Today, he's more than that. They are more than that. Chang Lin wants to get lost in that, and so, he wakes Huali up with soft, loving kisses and nibbles to his neck, ones that he knows drive his fiance mad.

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2022

coming soon

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2021

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5 feb 2021not at xing-ge making me homesick with his new song.这是长沙的人 长沙的魂
长沙的故事活在长沙的城
长沙的人 长沙的魂
I'll be ride for my city
I'll be die for my citymaybe i should go home sometime...---4 feb 2021he wants to xxxx my xxxx 😳---3 feb 2021baths are so boring. wish i had real company, not only over text, but guess this must do for now.---1 feb 2021went for dinner with my manager. we are trying to figure out like, all the concepts and shit. the budget is... idk how much money that is really industry wise but he says we can work with it.---

30 jan 2021late night conversations >>>---29 jan 2021i still cant fucking believe it lolll oh my god.after the meeting i went to have dinner with kitten - celebrate his conference and my good news. we had fish at ambrosia again and loads of champagne. then, yichen came to see me and see my performance memories. having friends like this... it makes me believe i can do this even though it scares me.---28 jan 2021OHMYFUCKLALDKHA; GOD.I am going to release an ALBUM?? I am DEBUTING??? After over ten years, it's finally happening?!---27 jan 2021it's tomorrow and i am freaking out.---24 jan 2021我选择放过我自己
让这场无尽的暴风雨
随这首歌划下了句
i can save myself
yeah, i can save myself
埋葬那不属于我的命运---23 jan 2021fucking bratty cute lil kitten ceos that don't look after themselves are driving me crazy (: why can't you just go to the hospital and not have me worried sick to the point that i have to drag you all the way there huh?---22 jan 2021went to see huali at work and tried swinging. the dance, not the fucking thing. then i took the bartender out of his bar and had some delicious greasy food at the night market.---18 jan 2021working a lot.maybe overworking a bit even, but i really don't have much time.10 days.i miss my friends; i have no idea what is going on lately. hope you're all fine.but also, busy feels good. too tired to think feels good.---17 jan 2021sometimes i want to call you, but i know better.---14 jan 2021the company has called me in. i have two weeks to show them what I've got, and then they will decide my future.two weeks.it's all or nothing.---12 jan 2021wei yichen stop trying to make me talk challenge failed.---11 jan 2021hope you sleep better now, kitten.---10 jan 2021i lost it and now there is fucking. sugar. everywhere.i'm so tired. i made a mess out of everything again.---9 jan 2021can't sleep well lately. everything is going in a really weird direction.trying to pour those feelings into music and work instead.---3 jan 2021back home, time to work again.
disney was actually so much fun.---1 jan 2021we stayed up late playing around in disneyland. gonna stay here couple more days.hey, if you're reading this. happy new year. you deserve better.---

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2020

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31 dec 2020performed at the execs dinner gala tonight. it was... an experience. i was the only trainee invited - i really hope it means something. and it's definitely an upgrade from being a back dancer at those tv gala events like i used to. i got like actual professional styling and shit and i looked so pretty it's crazy.then zhiwei picked me up and now we are at the airport cause he's kidnapping me to motherfucking disneyland lol---30 dec 2020today i went to help yichen paint his flat - guess it was my Christmas gift for him. so he can make it feel like home. 'help' means he was sitting on twitter and i was doing the painting...now we are both covered in yellow paint but luckily so are the walls.---28 dec 2020had lunch with zhiwei and accidentally consented to getting kidnapped.practising a lot; soooo fucking tired.---26 dec 2020to my dearest fucking heart-breaker ex,don't come home for christmas
you're the last thing i want to see
underneath the tree
merry christmas, i could care less---25 dec 2020spending christmas with yichen.
he got us matching pyjamas and then he had the audacity to complain that i didn't want to sing christmas songs with him when i performed whole fucking jingle bells rock, slut drop included, in the middle of my living room.---21 dec 2020tired and sore, but i have goals.
and if i have to work 20 hours a day to reach them and stop myself from overthinking, then i will. plus, i need to make an impression on nye.---19 dec 2020but i thought: how could i let you fall by yourself
when i'm wasted for someone else?---18 dec 2020i overwork myself in new shoes once and suddenly everyone is fussing over my fucked up feet like i am some fragile baby. so what if i can't walk, it happens, it will heal. lived through worse. yichen and wei ying literally WASHED my feet for me yesterday and now shuyu ge is trying to do the same.IT'S GROSS LEAVE ME ALONE.---16 dec 2020zhiwei kitten is back. he came to pick up meihua and brought loads of sushi. actually, a full fucking sushi cake. i don't know if i can move tomorrow.--11 dec 2020i really should try thinking before i talk sometimes, or i will keep on embarrassing myself.---10 dec 2020yesterday i missed lunch. i got so busy by the time i was out from the studio the cafeteria closed.wei ying gege and prettiest yanli jiejie brought me food during a break.
i invited them over for drinks last night. it was lovely.lately, it's like... i.. don't remember feeling this loved like, ever. somehow i am now surrounded by people that?? care?? and i don't know how to feel about it. i feel like absolute shit not being able to give back even half of what i receive.---8 dec 2020yichen got sick. he didn't want help so i had to intervene. dumbass never changed the access code.so now he's asleep and i'm bored. i am just modelling that cool coat he has in the corridor.now i look like yichen. i gotta take it off.---7 dec 2020maybe it's pointless but i will keep on writing.---6 dec 2020went out clubbing last night. i got into a dance battle in the club. of course, i won.i love dancing so much, i'm so scared i will lose it. i have no idea what else i could do with my life if i get fired.---4 dec 2020so... somehow no one at the company addressed the leak yet. fair enough, i am avoiding everyone as much as i can and hide from the execs but still. i thought i'd be called in by now. i don't know if this is a good or a bad thing---3 dec 2020i need to stop overworking myself to absolute exhaustion every time i don't know what to think.---2 dec 2020that was weird.
no wonder you got a bit messed up, ge.
don't let them get to you.
---1 dec 2020making edibles and chilling with yichen bub !! good vibes tonight life pls i'm begging. just wanna cuddle and giggle. pls.---

29 nov 2020i could tell you that i miss you
and i could try and win you back
but i know that these words don't carry weight
i know that it's all in my head
i could tell you that i need you
and remember what you said
yhat our love is forever and nothing can break us
but i think i am okay now---28 nov 2020i smelled her perfume and didn't cry.---23 nov 2020i don't like this new hashtag but here we go: #DissapointYourFamilyIn5Words
I have not debuted yet.---21 nov 2020wow i can't believe some vegan monkey would leak my song last night?! and han bin, that traitor, liked it?!but looks like i am going viral, baby.i'm just gonna camp the storm out in zhiwei's basement.---19 nov 2020choco is so cute.---18 nov 2020even those 'the first thing you see' games are calling me out for being a whore, wow, ok, point taken.anyway, my idea is still on. and because i am trying to be a responsible adult for once, i even had shuyu gege check some stuff from me from the legal side.---17 nov 2020why did you have to hurt me like this i think i am broken beyond repair now.---16 nov 2020woke up sexy as hell again i'm so embarrassed.---15 nov 2020the last thing i ever intended to do was to hurt people i care about and yet here we are. fuck. i just... i wanted to be a good friend but guess i am shit at that too.ended up looking for comfort and ended up in someone else's arms again.---14 nov 2020i'm sorry. it's my fault. i don't even know how did i let that happen. i'm sorry. you're just confused, you deserve so much better and so much more than me, kitten.maybe i should just disappear.---13 nov 2020finally got to dance to baby don't stop with my boys. this was fun. sometimes, when i get so busy and tired i forget how much i love to dance. i feel like a different person when i dance. finally a better day.---12 nov 2020writing is really cathartic.rest in peace old me, let me start slowly.---11 nov 2020zhiwei became a billionaire today! woah.and i'm still broke and stuck in trainee jail.but i have an idea. and i am getting help executing it.it may be risky, this really is my last shot.---10 nov 2020I HATE LOSING.---9 nov 2020kissed yichen today.yep, definitely platonic.can't believe we thought kissing would ruin our friendship. if anything it made us stronger.---8 nov 2020feels like i am stuck in this vicious cycle of going out and hooking up just to feel something.---7 nov 2020all i do is get over you and i'm still so bad at it.---6 nov 2020我不是妳想像的那種人
壞人的外表心還算天真
如果距離負了三十公分
就怕妳也會愛我愛很深
不是故意要嚇到妳那些朋友
是他們還不懂我這種溫柔
(Just let me love you)---5 nov 2020it's kitten's birthday!
so, i went to visit zhiwei's new place today! well, it's his old place, but he's moved back in there. i brought him caramel cake and we cried a little.i guess everyone has their own ghosts haunting them, huh.---4 nov 2020saw this thing that said it's time to be happy again.is it, though? i don't feel like it is.---1 nov 2020the party was fun! i behaved.
had to babysit yichen again. dummy. i love him.---

31 oct 2020going back today to attend the surprise bday party for sexy ge! sad to say bye to tokyo but it's been a fun couple days. i think i will get into even more trouble at work now for going mia without notice but i can't even find it in myself to give a fuck right now.---30 oct 2020it's nice to get away from everything.---29 oct 2020it didn't work. i really don't know what to do right now.
i am too old to be in a group, i wasted my whole life working for this. ten years. it's been ten years of growing up without my parents and leaving my friends behind. ten years of sore muscles and hurt knees and failing out of school because i don't have time for it. oh getting lost and beaten up in a foreign country that i moved to to follow my dream. feels like it was all for nothing.i just... they laughed at me. i couldn't take it anymore and just stormed out.
i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate myself.some twisted turn of events, i am now in tokyo - shuyu is here for a work trip and i just tagged along i don't even know why. so he's at work now and i don't know what to dowith myself. i guess i will go to akihabara.---28 oct 2020the meeting is today. i have some really cool stuff, i don't see why they'd tell me know. it will be alright. maybe i can al lest get something good from this heartbreak.---27 oct 2020still working, so i have more stuff to show them. please, i really want this to work.---26 oct 2020trying to write more songs.
i think i will.. show them to the execs. i think this is what i want to do.i booked a meeting in for this week.---25 oct 2020dinner with zhiwei was so much fun. the food was amazing - we had so much tasty fish!!
had the loveliest time.went home and in the middle of the night yichen woke me up with drunk texts. had to rescue him - got beaten into a pulp next to some warehouse. he's now resting concussed in my bed. poor bub. also, stupid idiot. i will now wrap him in a bubble wrap and lock him away.---24 oct 2020going for a fancy dinner with zhiwei kitten tonight! one of his restaurants. im excited!---23 oct 2020feels weird moving out. seeing empty walls in the place that used to be our home.but it's for the best, i think.---22 oct 2020i am in the midst of packing all my stuff. i should be able to move tomorrow, maybe. i found my old diaries, it triggered some memories. stuff makes so much more sense now. i think it's fully back by now.anyway, i decided that i will let yichen stay at this apartment. he needs a place he can call his own. he needs a real home.---21 oct 2020sometimes i look at myself in a remember and get reminded of how hot i am lol.---20 oct 2020spent a lazy day with yichen. he did some homework and i tried writing more. it.. felt nice.i need to move to my new place soon. this apartment will be empty and i will leave it behind. leave our memories behind. this should be good for me. i think being here makes it harder for me to move on.---19 oct 2020, eveningWTF I WON?so thankful for having friends that come and support me. and steal the first row. i love you all.everyone gave so much love to my song. i would like, cry, but i am not that weak. maybe i should try writing more? it felt.. it felt so cleansing, to let my feelings out into music and lyrics. i want to do it more often. i really do.on my way back i got to drive yichen's motorcycle!---19 oct 2020, morningtoday.i shouldn't have decided to perform my own song everyone will laugh at me. i feel so insecure.---18 oct 2020so fucking tired. been working SO much it's crazy but it's all my fault - i have been way to distracted and slacking off right before the annual performance assessment.i can do this.one more day.i will push myself like never before.---17 oct 2020so i went to check this thing out yesterday with yichen and??? i did not get clowned??? i now own a penthouse?? that i got from lord brat???wtf????i was like, do i have a sugar daddy now? but nah it's just one off.okay, well, i guess i can forgive and move on. ctrl + alt + delete, lord brat.---16 oct 2020just wanna stay in the kitten cuddle puddle. don't wanna move today. my mind is racingi also feel like i am about to get clowned again.---15 oct 2020made a new weird friend last night.
riding a motorcycle into the night feels like freedom.thanks, yichen.i really should focus on shit that matters - like my career - instead of acting stupid. i feel like i am this close to losing everything. the competition is next week.---14 oct 2020why am i acting like such an asshole all the time.i used to be so... nice.now i can't anymore.i really try my best to piss people off every chance i get, huh.for example, today i took chen yu's uniform and went to embarrass shuyu with a lap dance and an ugly cake in a meeting.half of the time i don't even know why i do those things. it makes me feel good for a moment when i laugh or get angry and then i feel numb again.---13 oct 2020yesterday zhiwei reminded me i have tinder, so i went on and scored a date in five minutes.didn't go well. and by 'didn't go well' i mean i ended up drunk in the middle of the street crying over the fact that my date used the same perfume as she used to wear. it really hit me that she is gone now.so fucking embarrassing. got picked up by shuyu and i was too sad and wasted to even fool around.im the worst.and since i am the worst no one will mind if i egg lord brat's car in revenge for stealing my keys after the party. plus i have an adorable partner in crime.---12 oct 2020so about last night... lol wtf.
i am such a hoe.but i am also an adult i cant believe i have to confess details of my sex life to my friends so they get off my ass (figuratively speaking, felt like i need to add it considering the context).---11 oct 2020oh shit it's haier's party today idk what to wear.---10 oct 2020vibes were so bad i said fuck it and ended up going out anyway.felt good for a moment.but why are they playing sad music in clubs? those emo songs disguised as dancey edm.now i feel like shit again.---9 oct 2020finished early today. it's friday, but i'm just gonna stay in and chill with my cat.she left you too, right, sweetie... i'm so sorry.---8 oct 2020i know i am a total mess.
but i just want to feel okay.tried some writing today.---7 oct 2020went out with zhiwei last night !!thinking.. maybe i should just move into the club? is that possible? i spend most of my time there anyway.---6 oct 2020zhao shuyu you're on thin ice.i can't have people visit me at work unannounced, ffs. had enough shit over her in the past."oh we told you it would end this way, you jeopardise your career over someone who never even cared about you,"i hate that they are kinda right.---4 oct 2020hangover again.I tried spending my nights under someone new but the truth is i could spend my whole life getting over you---3 oct 2020shuyu came over to mine last night. attempt number two was more successful, ha! ;) i always get what i want.i have the studio booked for myself for the whole day. looking forward to it.might go out again after.---2 oct 2020over the last few days i came to terms with the fact that she isn't coming back. her presence haunts me all the time - this was our place, out home. all her things are still here. she didn't even take them.guess it will still suck af to be here on my own but maybe it will be a bit better if her things are gone?so i threw her shit into a bag and pushed it down the stairs.just kidding, i am too nice for that. i folded all her clothes and cried over the way they still smell like her and packed them nicely into boxes before shipping it to her mum's.---1 oct 2020went for a ride with shuyu. he got all emo with me but just wanna have funnn.---

30 sep 2020so, i did go out last night. whoops.
that probably wasn't the best idea i've ever had, but at least it made me feel something.lust is a feeling, right?wanna go out and feel something again.---29 sep 2020last night i finally changed my layout and profile pic.what's the point in having a matching one remind me of what I've lost every. single. fucking. day.maybe this will be a start of new beginning?i am not sure if i can move on, but i want to at least try.i might go out tonight. i'm too sexy to be this sad.---28 sep 2020went to have some korean barbeque with haier and chen yu.haier didi caught on fire when we started talking about threesomes, lol.i feel like i laugh and i talk and i socialise but i am just so numb.---26 sep 2020everyone's so happy and in love.few days ago i felt like i was suffocating. now i can't even feel anything anymore.---24 sep 2020im staying with xiaofan for a bit. we've been dancing a bit, i am teaching him some k-pop routines. keeps me busy.i miss dancing with you.i wish i'd wake up to your hair splattered on my pillow.---23 sep 2020i remember feeling like i could burst with the love i have for you, that's what just seeing you smile used to do to me.but now you're not here anymore.---22 sep 2020yesterday i traded in my shitty replacement car and got myself a new audio a7 sportsback.i will be paying it off for another two years, but it was worth it.still sad, but now im sad in an a7.can you even hear me crying?
do you even care?---21 sep 2020the party was fun - for as much as i could have fun under those circumstances.it's good to have friends.don't know what i'd do otherwise.---20 sep 2020it was more than one.
fuck. my head hurts so much.also, now i am this pathetic guy that breaks down drunk in bars stuffing his face with pizza, cool, you're doing well, chang lin.i really don't get it... why are you doing this to me.anyways, one love dies, another one gets celebrated.i am attending an engagement party today.fair to say, not in a mood.---19 sep 2020i've been so distracted at work, i keep on fucking up.
almost sprained my ankle today.i need a fucking drink. i will go out, just for one.---18 sep 2020bad thoughts.she wouldn't do it again. right? right?!fuck.---15 sep 2020uh.
ghosted?---11 sep 2020feeling weird. bad weird.for some reason i got into a fight with xie yun didi, he kicked my ass.actually, he kicked my balls.i lost my favourite air jordans vintage.i don't even care.---9 sep 2020not again... she wouldn't.
right?---7 sep 2020anyway operation ring is back on.
the disneyland idea is so cheesy, but she loves cheesy.she really might be the best thing that ever happened to me.---5 sep 2020i had the talk with the execs today about my relationship.i stood my ground.---1 sep 2020wow, it's september already!
lately i've been feeling like.. maybe i could try writing songs.they say love makes you inspired.---

31 aug 2020i love u 3000 too.---30 aug 2020getting my cake today.i will be a harsh, harsh judge. hmpf. she says she feels like preparing for master chef. well, maybe, yeah. gordon ramsey is a soft lamb compared to me!i am worried about our kitchen. she's baking when i am still on my way back from the village.she says not to worry and that the floors will be okay, but her tweets... wtf happened.---29 aug 2020my mind hasn't been in the best place so ji chong suggested i stay with him at the village until rin comes back!i got some face masks and whiskey and sneakers for aunties and uncles and didis and meimeis !!i fell into a snowed over ditch on my way, but then we had a lovely time talking by a bonfire and shit.bro, ilusm.---28 aug 2020hang out with chen yu today. it was much needed.---27 aug 2020oh my god she's finally answered me.
she went on holiday with her mum.i just wish she had told me?! i don't think it's unreasonable... we do live together.anyway. silent treatment mode on. lol, no, jk. communication is key.i just asked for a cake.disneyland and the # will have to wait.---26 aug 2020i dont know what to do.---24 aug 2020she still isn't back and isn't answering my calls.i am getting worried.---22 aug 2020miss you baby, come back home soon <3---20 aug 2020been so busy! but a couple of days ago rin went to see her mum so i can catch up with the diary and all.maybe i should visit my parents soon too. this diary thing seems to be a habit - maybe more memories will come back to me. i still have some holes in the past few years that it would be nice to fill.anyway, when she comes back, we are going to disneyland for a weekend!and i am thinking...
should i get a ####?---19 aug 2020everybody is so wild, i love my friends. even if i am not loved back as much.---8 aug 2020why do i have to go to work every day instead of cuddling my gf and my cat if im not debuting anyway.not fair.---5 aug 2020haven't written for a while! been so busy and happy, and instead of pouring my heart out here, I've been pouring it out to her.anyway. milk is now banned from this household. why do lactose intolerant girlfriends keep on drinking it and suffer afterwards?! i ain't taking no chances. you won't be crying because of stupid milk.4 aug 2020, eveningso long story short i literally thought me and ji chong got married last night. but we didn't. phew. now everyone calls us husbros.
flowers weren't for rin. i was a bridegroom or whatever. to a stranger that i met in a park.there is just one teeny-tiny problem. i can't find my car.not drinking with bro again.4 aug 2020wtf happened last night.i bought flowers for rin tho, best boyfriend ever me thinks.---3 aug 2020rin went to stay with her parents for tonight so.. BRO DAY TODAY!!
WE ARE GONNA WATCH FOOTBALL AND HAVE BEERS AND ALL !! AWOO !!---

31 jul 2020she really thinks boba is a balanced breakfast huh.---29 jul 2020heard her talk to her mum today. she also sent us cactis.i kinda.. want to meet her parents.
but they probably will hate me.---26 jul 2020didn't know i could ever feel this happy.---23 jul 2020reorganised my apartment. we now have enough space for her things. we also now have one bedroom less. say hi to a walk in closet!how do i like, organise girl stuff? by type? by colour? how many shampoos does a girl need?---22 jul 2020went to help her pack, brought mcdonalds over. i feel literally desperate to make her happy every single fucking day.i love you.---21 jul 2020speaking of making her happy.. we now have a cat. another thing i never thought i'd do, lol. kinda a dog person. but it doesn't matter, cause angel - she named her angel! - is so adorable.anyway then the question of logistics of looking after a cat together came up, and it just makes so much more sense to do it together, so she's now moving in!---19 jul 2020i miss her so much even when i just don't see her for a day. wtf happened to me. she's so cute with her picky eating and weird habits i'd destroy anyone that upsets her. i just want her to smile always.we will be watching movies at mine later tonight.---18 jul 2020we prepared a dance surprise for xiangkong's tournament together. i love dancing with her <3---17 jul 2020so many things happened that i lost my cool and didn't get to ask her during the date.i asked today.
and now we have matching layouts and all.i am single no more, it seems. wow. chang lin's taken. this has literally never happened before in almost 23 years of my life. wow.---16 jul 2020I HAVE A DATE.we are going to have sushi. i booked like a really fancy restaurant - probably a bit above my budget, but... for her, it's worth it.I feel like it's very soon to make things official but... what... if i do...---14 jul 2020we had lunch and danced together all afternoon back in the studio.i know i might get in trouble, and yet.. we are officially going on a date soon.---13 jul 2020i'm weak weak weak for her.
midnight drives and dancing in convenience stores.it wasn't supposed to be like that !!---12 jul 2020everyone was showing off their pets today. it reminded me of when i named my fish chingu cause he was my only friend.but now i have my bro. we even got matching wolf tattoos cause we are a pack now.and i have those other crazy people too.i keep on thinking... i know well i am not allowed to date. then why can't i stay away ??---11 jul 2020it was a beautiful wedding !! i had a lot of fun with my bro too. he was really moved - apparently, he hadn't been to a wedding before.rin is such a gremlin. she made me eat mcdonalds again in the middle of the night. i will have to do some extra workouts after this weeks' indulgence. so today's been busy busy busy with extra work....but maybe it was worth it.---10 jul 2020how tf did i end up going out again?! ji chong tried to bet me on drinking, welp. sucks to be him - apparently 'city alcohol' is too strong for him. we connected! but then he got lost... i found him this morning tho, fed him mcdonalds.i love u, bro. pls don't get lost again.bring it on with the third night of partying in a row !! today's the wedding !!---9 jul 2020the stag do was so much fun. i kinda had to go through my tweets to piece some stuff together, but lol, we crashed the girls' party wearing those ugly outfits !! ancient didis are so cute, wtf. they got thirsty and fell for it when i handed them vodka instead of water, clowns.now i just need to find that gremlin rin and get her to delete those embarrassing videos of me drunk dancing and crashing into glass doors.after curing this horrid headache. i can just feel every sound right in my brain.---8 jul 2020so one of the parties is today. i got some fancy clothes from the stylist back where i work. got some for my new friends too.everyone is like, super hot around here. how's that possible? or maybe my head is just unwell. anyway i need to control my flirting. i am not made for love, lol, and don't wanna fuck up anything with my new friends.---7 jul 2020i woke up feeling strange. like.. confused? i am not sure about who i am or what i do. it's like there are those gaps in my life and memory. the most vivid thing is being friends with han bin - kinda hard to forget that, seeing his face on half billboards in the city. anyway, i seem to have some cool friends, so i am sure i will figure things out soon.also apparently there are some parties happening soon! yay! i love parties. and maybe when i hang out with people things will come back. i must've just hit my head when dancing, or something.

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verses

most of tweets are from canon chang lin, however, over time, aus and other verses developed. please mark if you'd like to interact with any au.

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eurotrip

Chang Lin is a hard worker. He's always been one. For years, he exhausted both his body and mind working toward his dance and choreography degree at the Beijing Academy of Arts.It was towards the end of his second hear of uni when he and his then-girlfriend started planning and saving up for this celebration and reward for those four years of hard work. The first and last big holiday of their lives, a 3-month long backpacking adventure all over Europe. A part of him always felt it was overly optimistic to believe they would actually make it to the graduation as a couple and the empty seat next to him on his red-eye flight to Amsterdam was a proof that he was right all along.That's okay, though. It's been a while since Chang Lin accepted that maybe love simply isn't for him. He doesn't fall; he doesn't crush. He wants people, and this is where it ends. A broken, empty heart won't stop him from enjoying his youth as he parties and sleeps his way through Europe.Never a believer in love, and even more so love at first sight, Chang Lin has to reassess everything he thought he knew about himself when he finds himself enchanted by a beautiful boy he encounters lost in secret alleys of Barcelona: an architecture student from Shanghai, currently based in Paris. But their lives are built on two opposite sides of the world. Can they make it last, or will their hearts break as the world turns all shades of red, orange and brown with fallen autumn leaves?verse indicator: 🏝️

fox spirit

A fox spirit that once was a demon; over centuries Chang Lin has developed enough conscience to be able to switch to a human form, but only under the cover of the night. He's a playful one, his human form youthful and childlike; his frolicking is often mistaken for maliciousness.Just like in old tales, the fox spirit can shapeshift taking the form of beautiful young man, easily capable of seducing others. Whether for mere mischief or to consume their bodies or spirits, no one seems to really know.And so, people still fear Foxlin who, due to that, tends to camouflage as a regular fox, hiding his nine tails and living a simple life of a fox during the day and a pretty, playful boy with a secret at night, having already accumulated enough power to remain safe and strong.Ancient and modern setting available.Verse indicator: 🦊
This verse goes hand in hand with wang huali's

coming soon